Hoary Tales of Dune: Fanfic with a Bite

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #10

Talos Aquinas | March 1, 2011

“There is nothing more dangerous than when your two ultimate enemies make common cause.” —Jahbah The’thutt, Spice Privateer. Reverend Mother (Ret.) Solaraseraph looked across the fine synthetic Elacca wood table at her diminutive opponent.  He’s taken this appearance to fool me, but he is the fool!  I can see right through him!  She used her [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #9

Talos Aquinas | February 28, 2011

“These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do” —a song from Old Earth; and from Erasmus’s music collection, which he keeps next to his Van Gogh reproduction. “Ultimate Kwisatz?! You’ve lost something in the sack after the last 26 years being on the Ithaca,” said Murbella as she rolled out of [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #8

Talos Aquinas | February 27, 2011

A TALE OF TWO EMPERORS “Who needs a nebula when you have a star?” —Ancient Proverb God Emperor Leto Atreides II sat in his sand cabin correcting the urgent communiques he had drafted for House Conway. The work was draining but vital. He sat hunched forward; a heavy segmented mass surrounded his upper body, the [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #7

Talos Aquinas | February 27, 2011

Nouns of Dune Dark. It was always dark. In space.   Leaving the atmosphere of Caladan behind, newly-Duke Leto Atreides watched cool blue sky fade to black. Already the great heighliner loomed in the void, carelessly rotating. The Duke’s pilot exchanged a few words with the carrier’s control, obtained permission to berth. Leto suppressed a [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #6

Talos Aquinas | February 27, 2011

DUNEs of DUNE Faq’yeh! —Fremen expression meaning “Ride that beast! Ride it!” Stilgar’s sweaty arousal was obvious through his tight stillsuit as he watched the messy sipce ejaculate of the monster worm flow into the sands behind him. The slimy trail stretched into the distance from the rear-end of the maker. I must not look [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #4

Talos Aquinas | February 20, 2011

DUNE: Knocking on Normacle’s Door It is 180 B.G. Humanity has nearly been destroyed by thinking machines. Iblis Ginjo is leader of The League, a last bastion of planets hoping to defeat the machines and take back the universe for themselves. “I pray that this will be your final assignment,” said an exhausted Iblis Ginjo [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #3

Talos Aquinas | January 23, 2011

“Well…it’s a start” —Reverend Mother Superior Origina Firstus Prima, on concluding her first controlled breeding for the sisterhood. The brisk salty Caladan air blew through the hair of the Atredies Heir, young Paul Atredies. He had completed his daily studies at the Mentat school and was out looking for adventure before his return to Castle [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #2

Talos Aquinas | January 21, 2011

Pop, why is Baron Overbite sneaking around the complex? Is he magic? —Estes Tergiet (Atreides) “Vermillion hells, that Norma Cenva is one hot mamma!” Vorian did not care who heard this proclamation of love as he stared at the shapely form of the grotesquely-mutated woman sleeping in the giant glass tube. “She shall be the [...]

McDune Parody Contest Entry: #1

Talos Aquinas | January 17, 2011

DUNE: A Gap to Fill (Prequel to House Atreides) Chapter 1 Remember, what we do here is a secret. —A secret memo sent to the secretive administrators of a secret no globe and no ship factory. After reviewing the exteriors of his new no globe and no ship, the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen was satisfied with [...]

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